The Bowling Trip
by Pluto's fricking pauldrons
Summary: 11 demigods, one SUV, one tight fit. Percy, Annabeth, Reyna, Jason, Leo, Piper, Hazel, Frank, Gwen, Dakota, & Bobby go bowling after the war. Percy is clueless, Jason's a cinderella, Gwen needs to clean out her mouth with soap, Bobby has a dirty mind, Hazel & Frank keep sleeping and Reyna's afraid of...bowling balls? On temporary hiatus (as you may have guessed) sorry.
1. Of course the car runs out of fuel

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters! They're Rick's!**

It was uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. I mean, _you_ try fitting 11 demigods into one cramped SUV. Sure it was a tight fit but most of them would have taken that any day over having to listen to Percy…

"Yes! Bowling finally!" Percy screamed.

"Do you really like bowling _that _much?" Annabeth looked at her boyfriend, worried, but then again who isn't worried for Percy's sanity?

"Of course I do! And it's like a quintuplet date plus poor, lonely Bobby!"

"Hey! I'm too awesome to have a girlfriend! There's not enough Bobby to go around!" Bobby yelled from the back of the SUV.

"Percy, that doesn't make sense…" Annabeth said after hearing his quintuplet idea.

"Sure it does, look, there are _five _couples here! I can count!" Percy protested, slightly offended.

"Really 'cause sometimes I doubt _even _that," Annabeth muttered under her breath.

"What? Really, Annabeth? I can count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10-"

"You forgot 9 Percy. You forgot 9. Really?"

"Yeah…I did. But that's because 7 _ate _9! Get it? Right, Annabeth? Pretty clever for a seaweed brain!" Percy pretty much glowed with pride. That was until Annabeth decided to squash that.

"Not funny, Percy, extremely stupid maybe, but not funny."

"Mean Annabeth! You're a M-E-A-N-I-E! How about _that_, wise girl?" Percy asked, now acting even more like a child.

"Whatever kelp head, now back to the original topic. How the Hades is this a, and I quote, "quintuplet date". You do know what a quintuplet is, right? Quintuplets are when a women has 5 babies."

"Annabeth, Annabeth," Percy clicked his tongue like he was scolding a child. Yeah like _he _was the smart one, "5 couples, and don't forget poor single Bobby, you and me, Leo and Piper, Frank and Hazel, Dakota and Gwen, and, Jason and Reyna," this last bit Percy whispered so he wouldn't get skewered with a knife, however, fortune _definitely _was not on his side.

"What?!" an angry voice called from the front seat of the car.

"No-nothing…heh, heh," Percy scratched the back of his neck casually. Call him a wimp or a coward, but if Reyna were giving you her, oh-so-famous-death-glare, then you would cower to.

Reyna's eyes bored into him like they were trying to cut him in half, and he had a scary suspicion she _really_ did, "That's what I thought, Jackson," she said before turning back towards the front. However, no one failed to notice the slight blush on her cheeks.

"Oh…Percy, you shame me," Annabeth sighed, "Really. Next thing you know you're in Hades' realm."

"What? That doesn't-OH! I get it!" Percy nodded, finally understanding.

"Like that's a big accomplishment. I even figured that out," Bobby said sarcastically.

"Yeah and Bobby _sucks _at detecting sarcasm," Dakota supplied.

"Hey! That was the time you guys, my so-called _friends_, were supposed to say, 'No, Bobby! You're not! Stop being so hard on yourself! We _love _you!"

"Pft. Like that was gonna happen, keep dreaming Bobby," Jason laughed. Suddenly the car screeched to a stop.

"Aw, shit. We're out of gas," Gwen growled, "Fucking car."

"Language!" Bobby screamed suddenly.

"You're one to talk," Dakota said pointedly.

"All of you are one to talk! Speaking of talk…I LOVE to talk! I'm talking right now! Did you know that? I absolutely CAN'T WAIT TO BOWL!" Percy squealed.

"What the Pluto do we do?" Jason started panicking, "I mean I _told _you we needed to refill! Now look at the mess we're in!"

"Calm down, Cinderella **(AN: Original, no. Useful, hell yes!)," **Reyna said sarcastically. This earned a bunch of snickers all around the car.

"Watch it girlie!" Leo smirked at Jason.

"Yeah! Don't get your panties in a twist!" Annabeth added.

Piper, not wanting to be left out nodded, "We don't need some damsel in distress right now."

"Agreed! Because I'm _certainly _not gonna be your Prince Charming!" Percy laughed.

Jason, who was bright red by now, desperately tried to change the topic, "Very funny. How-how about we wake up Hazel and Frank and push this car off the road." Everyone in the car looked over at the sleeping couple.

"Aw! They are _so_ cute!" Piper squealed, earning some concerned looks, "What?"

Leo coughed, "Nothing."

Percy, obviously not understanding said, "He means you're acting like Aphrodite!"

"Really Percy? The point was to be subtle and not tell!" Leo exclaimed.

"Oh shut up, guys. You _have to _agree they're adorable!"

"I guess they're pretty cute," this came from the person they least suspected to cave in, Reyna. This "WTF" moment led to all sorts of worried questions.

"Oh gods Reyna, are you feeling ok?"

"You aren't fucking sick are you?" **(AN: Guess who that is. Yep, Gwen and her cursing problem.)**

"Let me feel your forehead."

"Maybe you should sit this one out."

"What's your temperature?"

"Is this the signal for the end of the world?" Bobby yelled, terrified.

"It is! I can't believe the world is ending! I have _so _many things left to do! No, no, no, no, no. The world _can't _be ending! I'm Poseidon's son I command you not to end!" Percy added.

"She might have caught that rare fever that's been going around…"

"Ew! Don't get near me! You might be contagious!" Leo shrieked. Everyone's heads turned towards Leo, "What? I don't know about _you_, but _I_ certainty can't afford to get sick! I'm much to handsome, the world will miss me!" Piper smacked the back of his head, "Hey! That's precious material! Watch it!"

"Guys I'm _FINE_! Calm the Jupiter down!" Reyna snapped, clearly annoyed.

"And she's back…" Jason, helpfully, noted, "Ow! No need to hit Rey!" this granted him yet another smack.

"Of course she is! Did you know-" Percy said before he was rudely cut off.

"Let's get back to the original matter…" Annabeth decided it was time to change topics. She shook both Hazel and Frank's shoulder lightly.

"Monster!" Frank screamed, this probably woke Hazel up more that the shoulder-shake.

Leo jumped up about ten feet, hitting his head on the roof, "Shit Frank!"

"Clean your mouth out!" Hazel protested, "I'm the youngest one here!"

"Yeah man, Gwen isn't the only one with cursing issues," Bobby agreed.

Gwen decided to ignore that last comment, "That's what you get for hanging out with us gods damn 15 and 16 year olds, we have fucking _is-su-es_," she sighed, getting out of the car in order to push it to the side of the road.


	2. You're afraid of what now?

**Disclaimer: Seriously. I already stated I was a girl in my profile…and unless Rick is hiding something…**

"Ugh. At least we were only a mile away from the bowling place. We'll have to get gas on the way back," Annabeth noted, being a daughter of Athena.

"No shit, Annabeth," Gwen said moodily, she wasn't at all happy about this.

"Gwen…do you have a cursing problem we need to address?" Percy asked innocently.

"No, Percy we do fucking not."

"Ok…because I know a great psychologist."

"Whoa, Perce! How do you know a psychologist?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I…uh…I was joking!" he protested.

"Sure you were," Reyna said sarcastically, "Even Bobby could tell."

"Oh you hurt me so much, Rey-Rey," Bobby said causing Reyna to grit her teeth.

"My feet hurt! I don't wanna walk anymore!" Jason cried, desperately grabbing onto Reyna's shoulder.

"Eh! Cinderella, I'm not your support beam!" Reyna said shrugging his hand off.

"But I'm yours…" Jason said flirtatiously, "Aren't I, dearest? You can always lean on me, or into me for that matter."

"Ew…no Jason…stop being so perverted…"

"Yeah Jay, hanging around Bobby has made you so fucking perverted," Gwen nodded, "And Dakota too. Right Kota?"

"No! _No one _can be as perverted as him! How dare you lump me with his kind!" Dakota protested.

"My kind. You mean my hot 'n' sexy kind!" Bobby corrected.

"Hey! That name's already taken, by MY kind!" Leo protested.

"He has his own kind?" Percy wondered.

"Oh gods Percy…I can't believe you're so dense…" Annabeth sighed.

"Bowling shoes anyone? I'm going to get some," Piper asked.

"I'd like to get some," Bobby said suggestively.

"Ew…I'll take that as a no."

"ZZZZZZZZ," the 9 demigods turned around fast, only to find the last 2, Hazel and Frank, sound asleep on a bench.

"Really. They're sleeping…" Reyna said in disbelief.

"I wonder what dreams they're having…" Bobby added, earning him a bunch of disgusted looks.

"Should we wake them up?" Leo asked.

Piper shook her head, "Let them sleep, they're probably really tired to have to sleep so much."

"What do you mean?" Percy asked, granting him a look of disdain from Annabeth.

"Let's get this bowling started!" Dakota yelled taking a huge swig from his kool aid bottle.

"Where the fuck did you get that? I thought I stole all of that shit!" Gwen screeched.

"Ah, my dear, I have my ways! And-wait a second! I _knew _you were the one that stole it!" Dakota realized.

"Smart damn boy," Gwen replied patting Dakota on the back.

The 9 demigods entered their names, and Hazel's and Frank's, onto the machine.

"I'm first!" Piper screamed and then grabbed the bowling ball. She ran up to the lane and let go, "STRIKE! Suck it losers!"

"Oh, you are going _down_," Leo yelled. He threw the red ball down the…gutter.

"Gutter ball, Leo," Piper said smugly, "I told you you'd do that, ten dollars."

"Fine…here you go."

"I'm next," Annabeth said. She knocked down 7 pins, shrugged, and pointed to Percy.

"Wha-what did I do?" he asked scared.

"Oh gods…I mean it's your turn. Really seaweed brain."

"Oh. Ok. I was scared there…where's the bowling ball?"

"PERCY! It's in the machine over there."

Percy walked over to the machine and picked out a nice sea green bowling ball and tried to insert his fingers in the tiny holes, "I can't do this! The hole's too small!"

"That what she said!" Bobby exclaimed.

"Ew. Bobby!" Annabeth shook her head.

"Only 3 pins, Percy, sad," Piper sighed.

"Hey! You try it when the hole is too small!"

"That's what-" Bobby started.

"No. Swallow that comment Bobby," Reyna cut him off.

"Swallow only the comment?"

"Ew…I don't even want to think about it…"

"'Cause you wanna _do _it!"

"No you, you know what, I'm not even going to bother."

"Well," Piper said before Bobby could reply, "it's your turn Reyna."

Reyna looked around cautiously, "Uh. About being sick…I think I _will _sit this one out…"

"What do you mean?" Jason asked.

"I-I think I'll sit this one out…I'm not that good anyways…"

"So what? Leo sucks and he went," Piper said helpfully, while Leo glared at her.

"No thanks. I don't want to go," Reyna insisted.

"Aw Rey, come on!" Jason begged handing her a bowling ball. Reyna screamed.

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"

"That's what she said," Bobby muttered under his breath.

"Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Gwen asked.

"What? What did I do? Tell me!" Jason pleaded, "Does she really hate me that much?"

"I don't think it's you…" Annabeth said.

"What do you mean?" both Percy and Jason asked.

"Reyna are you afraid of bowling balls?" Annabeth asked a scared, curled up Reyna, who was currently as far away from the bowling ball dispenser as possible.

"N-n-no. I'm a daughter of Bellona, I'm not scared…" she sounded unsure. Piper slowly lowered a purple bowling ball towards Reyna, emitting another scream from the Roman praetor.

"Oh. My. Gods. The great Roman praetor, daughter of Bellona, pride of New Rome, best warrior in the Legion, is afraid of a BOWLING BALL!" Leo cracked up.

"Oh shit, Rey. That's fucking retarded. I'm sorry but damn…" Gwen was at a loss for words.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have made the date-uh-I mean _occasion_ somewhere else!" Jason panicked, again.

"Reyna's afraid of bowling balls…" Dakota voiced.

"I guess she just doesn't like 'big balls'," Bobby smirked.

"Reyna, daughter of war, faced giants, and huge monsters. She's afraid of a harmless sport supply," Piper was shocked.

"What do you mean Reyna's afraid of bowling balls?" Percy asked, clueless of course, he hadn't been following the conversation.

"Wow Reyna, I would have never guessed," Annabeth looked at her in awe.

"Shit…" Gwen said for the one billionth time.


	3. Unleash The SHIPS!

**Alright, so this chapter kind of shows the ships, since I've been lacking in this story. So…UNLEASH THE SHIPS! Oh and ****_late _****Happy New Year!**

**Disclaimer: No, no I've told you this already. I don't own PJO, or HOO for that matter.**

"Aw, Rey, it's ok. We wont make you bowl," Jason promised putting a arm around her shoulder, "Right guys?" he asked looking around.

"I don't know Jason…It would be pretty funny!" Leo helpfully, causing Reyna to shudder and Jason to glare.

"I-if you do, I'll-I'll run you through with my da-dagger. Got th-that?" Reyna said hesitantly.

"Oh fuck this!" Gwen suddenly shouted, "We wont make you touch the fucking bowling ball, kapeesh?"

Reyna nodded, "Thanks…they just…they remind…"

"What do they remind you of?" Annabeth said, still worried.

"OK YOU GOT ME! THEY REMIND ME OF BLACKBEARD'S CANNONBALLS!" she confessed _loudly_.

"Oh, fuck. They remind you of some bastard's cannonballs," Gwen sighed.

"You know that could sound pretty wrong out of context…" Bobby added.

"Oh shut the fuck up Bobby."

"Hey, hey, hey! Do you _really _need to curse in every sentence?" said person asked, earning him yet another glare. Sheesh this poor guy kept getting death glares.

"Both of you shut up! I think it's kinda cute!" Jason blurted out before quickly slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Wow Jase, you are _such_ a girl," Dakota commented.

"Hey!"

"Yeah Jason it's true. Why are you such a princess?" Leo agreed.

"Oh my gods yes!" Bobby added, "You're a girl that likes girls! Jason's a lesbian!"

"I am a _guy _who likes _girls_," Jason seethed with rage.

"For a sec there I thought you were going to say you were a guy who likes guys," Frank smirked.

"Wait…when the Pluto did you get up?" Jason said looking over at Frank.

"What do you mean? He's not up…" Hazel stated.

"And when did _you _get up?" Jason was extremely confused.

"_ZZZZZZZZ…_"

"And they fucking went back to sleep," Gwen noted. Meanwhile Piper was still in a state of shock and was gaping like a fish.

"Uh…guys should we help Piper…" asked Bobby, uncertainly.

"I'll do it! I'll be very happy to do it!" and with that Leo walked up to Piper and shook her. This of course didn't work. He then proceeded to poke her, and when that failed, began to smack her.

"Really Leo?" Annabeth sighed.

"What's he doing? OMGs he's not trying to wake her up is he?" Percy screamed frantically.

"No, Percy….that's _exactly _what he's doing…" Annabeth couldn't take this anymore and was just about to give Percy a lecture when…

"LEO! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?" this woke even Hazel and Frank up, and they both started clutching one another, confused, and scared. It even shook Reyna out of her scared-of-bowling-balls-trance.

"I'm sorry! I _really _didn't mean to! I swear! On the river of Styx! I was _just _trying to wake you up! I mean it! I really do! Please don't kill me!" Leo tried desperately to put out a smoking Piper. And yes, she was literally smoking. Actually, scratch that, she looked like a human fireball.

"What the fuck did you just do, you little asshole?" Gwen asked nonchalantly.

"Yes, Leo, care to explain?" and just like that Reyna went form scared-little-girl-mode to I'm-going-to-kill-you-because-I'm-a-scary-praetor-mode.

"Uh….you see….I was getting kinda annoyed that she wasn't…uh….waking up….so…my powers got kinda….out of control…and I…might've…uh…set….uh….Piper…sorta…on…fire…" Leo managed to stammer out.

"Get Percy over here!" screamed Annabeth.

"Wait…what? Ahh! Let go of me woman! Why are you taking me over here?" Percy, obviously confused, asked.

"Oh my gods, Percy, you're such a seaweed brain. We need you to use your water powers to put Piper out," Annabeth said matter-of-factly, "How did I get stuck with such an idiot boyfriend?"

"You know you love it!" Percy said childishly.

Annabeth punched his arm, but smiled, "Ok kelp head, put Piper out." Percy grabbed a couple of water bottles and then used his awesome water powers to…push Piper out the door? This left a _very _irritated Piper who was now, soaking wet, shivering, and smoking still slightly.

"PERSEUS JACKSON!"

"What? Annabeth told me you wanted to go out?"

Annabeth face palmed, "Oh for the love of Athena, when I said put her out I meant like put the flames out! So basically put Piper out of being on fire."

"I think you said 'out' too many times…" Percy stated.

"Percy,"

"Yes?"

"You know I love you right?"

"Of course! I love you too!"

"So please stop being _so _stupid."

"She told you," Bobby said breaking the silence with a _terrible_ southern accent.

"Bobby…you know I fucking love you right?" Gwen asked, causing Dakota to whimper.

"You-you DO?" Bobby was overjoyed. He wasn't single anymore.

"Fuck NO! Of course not," Gwen smirked.

"You Gwendolyn, are pure evil," Bobby sniffled.

Dakota smiled, "That's Gwen for you!"

"You Dakota, are just saying that because you _LURVE_ her!" Bobby exclaimed.

"'Lurve'? Really Bobby," Annabeth was shocked at the stupidity of her group.

"Yeah! 'Lurve'! Just like Piper lurves me!" Leo smiled.

"WHAT? FIRST YOU BURN ME THEN YOU SPREAD LIES ABOUT WHERE MY HEART LIES!" PIPER SCREAMED SO LOUDLY EVEN THIS NARRATIVE WAS IN CAPS!

"GOOD JOOB PIPER! YOU RAPED THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON! NOW EVERYTHING WE SAY IS IN CAPS!" LEO YELLED (WELL BECAUSE HE HAD TO).

"AW SHIT! REALLY PIPER?" GWEN YELLED, "I HAVE TO END THE CHAPTER BECAUSE THE AUTHOR _ALWAYS _MAKES ME END THE CHAPTER! AND I'D PREFER _NOT _TO DO IT IN CAPS LOCK!"

**AND CUT! SORRY IT'S STILL IN CAPS LOCK! IT SHOULD BE FIXED FOR NEXT CHAPTER! THANKS FOR READING! REVIEW!**


	4. Seductive Kool Aid

**ChAptEr 4 iS here! (SoRRy, the CaPS lock button is StIlL sliGhtly broken…(if aNything it maKes it More Annoying riGhT?) So, sOrrY about tHAT. I'll Get LEO. Ah, thank you Leo…(don't know why I didn't ask him in the first place…) Whatever I'm probably boring you so…HERE IT IS (sorry it's kinda short).**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN PJO, HOO, OR RICK RIORDAN (wait…where'd that come from?)**

"So…sorry about the caps lock…" Piper muttered now slightly embarrassed.

"Wow…Piper has anger issues…" Leo fidgeted, "And I just faced the full brunt of it!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY I HAD!?"

"StOp it PIPER! LoOk what yOU did! IT'S sCRewED up AGAIN!" ANnAbeth scrEAmed.

"LEO gET ThE fuck OVER herE aNd FiX tHE GODdAMNED KEYS!" Gwen YELLED.

"I'M On iT!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank the GODS!"

"Piper for gods sakes! _Stop with the caps lock!" Dakota yelled._

_"Oh no, oh no," Annabeth muttered._

_Percy was worried, "What? Are you ok? OH MY GODS NO! You're __**pregnant **__aren't __**you**__," Percy narrowed his eyes at her._

_"__**What? Where the Hades did you get an idea like that? **__I'll deal with you later."_

_"Why are we stuck in italics…" Bobby questioned._

_"OH FUCK! Look! Dakota! __**You **__were the first to use ITALICS in this chapter!" Gwen accused. All the demigods whirled around to face Dakota._

_"She's right Kota, what are you gonna do about it?" Reyna asked threateningly._

_"Uh….run?"_

_"AFTER HIM!" Reyna screamed._

_"NOOOOOOO!" Jason wailed, picking up the hem of his…was that a princess dress?_

_"Now we have to use __**bold **__to emphasize words!" Percy wailed as well._

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, shit, shit," Gwen muttered under her breath, adding a few Latin curses in there. _

_"I GOT 'IM!" Hazel exclaimed._

_"Good going Hazel," Frank added._

_Jason screamed and started hitting his head against walls, "WHEN DID THEY GET UP? You," he pointed at a…sleeping Frank and Hazel…"Oh. My. Gods," he then started sobbing._

_"It doesn't matter," Reyna stated, "I've got Kota, let's tie him up and dangle a kool aid right out of his reach!" _

_"NONONONONO! __**Anything **__but that!" _

_"Gwen, like to do the honors?" Reyna asked smugly, glad to be away from the bowling balls. _

_"Of course I fucking would! That son of a bitch stole his kool aid back, __**and **__made us stuck in this fucking, shit print!" Gwen tied Dakota upside down and put a bottle of kool aid right in front of him._

_"NONONONONO! MY BABY!" Dakota cried, desperately trying to use his teeth. _

_"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm SOOOO evil! SEDUCTIVE KOOL AID!" Reyna cackled._

_And the screen went bla-_

_"WAIT! __**I **__have to end the fucking chapters! THE AUTHOR FUCKING MAKES __**ME **__DO THE SHIT!Ok?! We have such a fucking clueless Percy it's ridiculous-"_

_"What?" Percy asked._

_"-Exactly, a fucking, bitch girl Jason-"_

_"What? NO! Take that back-"_

_"-That might be going through his, excuse me __**her**__ period. Bobby, who of course, always has a freakishly perverted mind-"_

_"Yeah! So come one come all!"_

_"-Ew, fucking exactly. Hazel and Frank who are like on some fucking strong sleeping drugs,"_

_"ZZZZZ…."_

_"Uh…yeah, no shit, and Reyna, here who has fucking PTSD with gods damn bowling balls-"_

_"Well I think that-"_

_"Yeah and that's about fuc-"_

_"YOU FORGOT GWEN AND HER CURSING ISSUES!" all the demigods, yes even Frank and Hazel, screamed at Gwen. _

_"I FUCKING DON'T" and __**that's **__when the screen went black._

**_Ok, guys. I'm running out of creative ideas! I need your help! Calling all writers, semi-writers and not-writers-at-all (by the way that means all of you)! I need you, yes you, to leave a review with some crazy, I-think-this-author-is-on-crack-idea! Maybe about bowling, since I've been straying from that path…Thank you and continue reading! _**


	5. Ashes, ashes we all fall down the gutter

**Hey, hey, hey! Ok ignore the last part…anyways! I'm BAAAACK! And with another chapter! Hurray! Hurrah! The italics was fixed! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this sh*t, I'm joking, it's not that, but I don't own it. (Well I ****_do _****own the plot and that, but not the characters.)**

"Sorry about the italics…" Dakota said in a way that sounded surprisingly like Piper.

"Whatever, just next time just fucking don't," Gwen scowled.

"Let's finish the game," Jason exclaimed.

"I'm just going to sit over here…and not go near you guys…" Reyna decided.

The other eight demigods walked over to the bowling lane.

"ME FIRST!" Bobby yelled.

"FINE YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" Gwen helpfully responded.

"YAY!"

"Guys, stop talking in caps lock. We don't want another Piper incident," Leo pointed out.

"I _said _I was _sorry_!" Piper glared at Leo.

"Oh, and stop talking in italics to! We don't wanna pull another Dakota!" Leo quickly said.

"Hey!"

"Guys shut up and let me BOWL!" and with that Bobby selected a nice orange bowling ball and ran up to the lane, released it and-"HELP! GUYS, MAN DOWN, MAN DOWN!"

"More like boy down," Annabeth muttered.

"WHATEVER-I-AM DOWN! HELP ME!" Bobby screamed, somehow he had managed to get his fingers stuck in the bowling ball and was currently rolling down the lane.

"Oh my gods!" Percy started laughing.

"Can he get any stupider?"

"No, I don't think he can…"

"Oh that fucking son of a bitch…"

"Let 'im fall, he deserves it…"

"I agree! Let him! This can be revenge for the bath house incident…" Jason agreed.

"Wait…_you _are telling me about this "bath house incident" later!" Leo pointed his finger at Jason.

"Let me think about that…uh….NO!"

"You will…I'll get it out of you…"

"AHHHHH! YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! HELP ME! I'M GOING UNDE-"

"He's gone…" Dakota said, looking at the empty bowling lane.

"Wonder where he went."

"Should we tell the manager about this?"

"Well, maybe we could save him."

"You're joking, right Piper? We are _not _risking ourselves…"

"No, she's right…we should go after him…"

"Yeah…but maybe if we _wait _he'll show up in the bowling rack. You know how that machine works…"

"No Leo, I think only _you _know how that machine works."

"Yeah! _You _go save him."

"Uh, no way. We'll just ask an employee about that."

~~~5 minutes later~~~~

"So. Ya friend got stuck down there?" asked the employee.

"Yeah…somehow…um," Leo glanced at the employee's name tag, "Randy, yeah. He got pulled under."

"Well. This is a weird bowling alley, so I think ya friend would be…I'm actually not sure…you might have to ask my boss."

"Real helpful you dipshit," Gwen growled.

"Gwen!" Annabeth exclaimed, "Really?"

"Hey! Young lady! Watch your tongue! I'm tryin' to help ya out here!" Randy gasped.

Gwen just growled some more and started cursing under her breath.

"Ok, I think some of ya, or all of ya, I couldn't care less, are gonna have ta go through da bowling lane. Ya know, the way he went."

"Uh…thanks?" Jason said, "Real helpful."

"Just doin' my job. Later kiddos."

"He was creepy!" Dakota whispered as soon as Randy walked away, "Like _really _creepy! Like child molester creepy!"

"I know right? I'm gonna go tell Reyna about what happened. I might wake Hazel and Frank up too," Annabeth decided.

"What do you mean wake us up? We're _already _up," Hazel said, confused.

"NOT AGAIN!" Jason yelled, "They _keep waking up!"_ he then picked up the hem of his dress and ran straight down the bowling lane, slipped, fell, and got the same fate as Bobby.

"Oh shit."

"Dumbass."

"What an idiot."

"Was Grace wearing a _dress_?"

"Oh my gods! He _was_!"  
"Awkward!" Hazel exclaimed.  
"What she said." Frank agreed.

"WOAH! You're still awake! THAT is a first!" Percy smiled.

"You're right! First smart thing you said all day!" Annabeth glowed with pride, then the scene became slightly familiar when Percy unknowingly squashed it.

"What? What did I say?"

"NO! JUST WHEN I GOT MY HOPES UP!" Annabeth wailed.

"Eh…whatever, girls are weird," Percy started inching away from the upset girl.

"Reyna," Leo started, "Bobby fell down the bowling lane."

"Good for him."

"No, I'm serious."

"Very funny Leo, look I'm laughing! Ha. Ha. Ha." Reyna said sarcastically.

"No I am _actually _serious."

"Leo, when are you _ever _serious?" she pointed out.

"Um…right now."

"Don't believe you."

"Ugh. I hate girls."

"You like guys."

"No I…wait WHAT?!"

"You hate girls, ya love guys."

"I…NO YOU'RE TWISTING MY WORDS!"

"No…I'm saying exactly what you said, you hate girls, ya love guys."

"I…NO! _YOU_, praetor, are _IMPOSSIBLE!_"

"Thank you!"  
"Oh fuck this…ANNABETH!" Leo yelled.

Annabeth was in no condition to prove Leo right however. As a matter of fact, she was in no condition to do _anything_. Said daughter of Athena was sobbing on the floor dramatically, wailing and exclaiming, "Why? Why world why?" every few seconds.

"Seriously?" Leo muttered, "JASON! Wait…no…he fell down as well…"

"WAIT! JASON DID WHAT?" Reyna said, suddenly in full attention mode.

"Aw! See you care about him…but not Bobby…but yeah. They both fell down the gutter."

"Shit…" surprisingly it was Reyna that cursed.

"Are we fucking saving them or not?" Gwen asked dragging a dazed Hazel and Frank with her.

"Yeah, we're going…" Dakota agreed, "Percy! Grab your girlfriend! We're going after Bobby and Jason!"

"What? What are you talking about? Wait…where's Jason and Bobby?"

"Oh. My. Gods. WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID, THEY ARE DOWN THE FUCKING GUTTER AND YOU NEED TO DRAG YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ASS DOWN THERE WITH US SO WE CAN SAVE THEM, AND YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPD AND HOLDING US THE FUCK UP BECAUSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS IN A STATE OF FUCKING SHOCK AND SHE IS FUCKING HOLDING US UP! SO GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF THE GROUND AND FUCKING HELP US!" Gwen roared in a very long run on sentence.

"I…I'm sorry?" Percy asked, now deathly afraid.

"Thank gods the caps lock key didn't malfunction with _that _rant!" Piper noted.

"I agree. Let's go save some damsels in distress…" Reyna nodded.

"STOP FUCKING DOING THAT YOU BASTARDS!" Gwen roared again. Also the bastards part was pretty accurate, considering none of their two biological parents were married.

"Wha-what?" all the other demigods, even Hazel and Frank turned around to face her.

"YOU KEEP FUCKING FORGETING THAT _I_, AND _ONLY _I END THE CHAPTERS!"

"Oh…heh, heh. Right!" Percy added, desperately trying to get on her good side and seem smart.

Well that obviously didn't work because Gwen roared out yet again, "THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT PERSEUS JACKSON! I _ALWAYS_ END THE CHAPTERS! AND DON'T YOU FUCKING FORGET THAT FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING INFORMATION!" and with that, she dragged Dakota by the ear and stormed off towards the bowling lane to save the damsels.

**To be continued! So next chapter: The rescue of the damsels! I'll try to update ASAP, but that might not be possible! So stay tune for maybe a couple of weeks! YEAH! Later! **


	6. We get a quest from a hornless unicorn

**Hey guys. So thanks for all your reviews, very much appreciated! Here's some cookies (::) (::) (::)**

**Guest: What the fuck indeed. Definitely a WTF story.**

**Ilovepjo: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad I could make your parents look at you like that, lol!**

**howtobecrazzy101: Thank you for your continuous support! :D**

**splendid123456789: Thanks again for your nice review!**

**SO ONCE AGAIN I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY REVIEWERS FOR THEIR EXCELLENT REVIEWS (yes even the Guest) They all made me smile!**

**Disclaimer: I. DO. NOT. OWN. PJO. OR. HOO. End of story.**

The 9 demigods had just slid through the gutter and they had to say it took _much_ more time than they would have liked. There were many setbacks, such as Reyna passing out from bowling ball exposure and Hazel and Frank falling asleep three times, but they had managed and were currently in what seemed to be an underground chamber.

"Do you think this is where Randy goes in his free time?" Dakota asked.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Gwen scowled, "That doesn't make any fucking sense, drunk bitch."

"Mean! I'm not a bitch! I'm just saying Randy's really creepy, I'm surprised there aren't any torture tables here…"

"Gods Dakota just shut up. I'm _sure _Randy isn't a creeper," Reyna said, exasperated.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that!" a creepy voice said laughing, "Don't you think you're all a bit too old to be _that _gullible!" the laughter boomed of the walls.

"AH! WHAT THE FUCK! WE'RE SCREWED! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, DAKOTA, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" Gwen screeched.

"What? How the Pluto is it _my _fault?"

"IT JUST FUCKING IS!"

"Calm down children…I simply need to ask you a favor…" Randy sneered, looking creepier by the second, "I'm no _ordinary _person…as a matter of fact you might say…I was….a…FLUFFY, PURPLE UNICORN!"  
"I-WHAT?" Leo gaped, "NO WAY! Teach me your ways, fluffy, purple unicorn."

"No. That's a no. I need you to go on a quest for me. It's-"

"Where's your horn? You're no unicorn! You're a _horse_!" Reyna exclaimed.

"EXCUSE ME! How dare you call me that stupid, non-magical, stupid, stinky, stupid, dumb, stupid, idiotic, stupid, ugly, stupid, mutated, stupid, demented, stupid, mental, stupid, fugly, stupid, fat, stupid, no-sense-of-style, stupid, boring, stupid, THING! I just happen to be missing my horn, miss smartacus!"

"Actually, Spartacus was a very important figure in the ancient times. He led the slave uprising against Rome! Even if it was Rome…my baby…" Reyna started sobbing.

"Yeah, whatever. Your quest is to find my missing rainbow beautiful, awesome, cool, sparkly, rainbow-y, horn of awesomeness."

"And if we don't?" Piper asked.

"YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS-"

"Hey they're nobody's boyfriend! _Especially _Bobby." Reyna protested.

"Oh…that's right! Completely forgot about Bobby. Just slipped my mind…"

"-YEAH WHATEVER, AS I WAS _SAYING _/ENEMY/NEMESIS/GOD-"

"Jason is by far not a god, and don't even get me started on BOBBY!"

"SHUT UP! ANYWAYS! /TORTURE DEVICE/MOTHER-"

"WHAT?" all the demigods said in unison.

"SHUT UP! I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Yeesh, he's worse than Gwen."

"HEY!" Gwen yelled.

"DAMN RIGHT I'M WORSE THAN YOUR LITTLE FRIEND/BEST FRIEND/BOYFRIEND-"

"they're not-"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS! SCREW, I DON'T EVEN GIVE 1! JUST FIND MY FUCKING HORN! AND I'LL GIVE YOU BACK YOUR FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS-"

"We already established that they're not anyone's boy-" Reyna interrupted.

"LOOK I'VE HAD _ENOUGH_ OF YOUR SMART MOUTH! BOWLING BALLS!" just then a shitload of bowling balls fell from the ceiling.

"AHHHHH! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! GET THEM OFF, GET THEM O-O-FFFFFF!" she burst into tears and started rolling around on the floor.

"What's going on here?" Percy asked, for the first time speaking.

"WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID!? YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! GO DROWN YOURSELF!" Gwen exploded.

"But-but, I can't my daddy's Poseidon!"

"THAT'S IT!" Gwen yelled so loudly even the no horned unicorn (hey that rhymed!) started wailing, "I HAVE HAD FUCKING _ENOUGH _OF YOUR DUMBASS BEHAVIOR!"

"Shit just got real," Leo snickered to Piper, who laughed.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BASTARDS LAUGHING AT? DO I LOOK FUCKING FUNNY? NO REALLY, I WANNA KNOW, DO I FUCKING _LOOK _FUNNY? ANSWER ME YOU SHIT BAKED, FUCKING BASTARDS!"

"'_Shit baked_'?" Leo questioned.

"YES 'SHIT BAKED'! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME KEEP BEATING THE SHIP OUT OF PERCY FUCKING JACKSON!"

"Go right ahead, I wont stop you," Annabeth said, suddenly out of her shocked stated from all the screaming.

"Annabethie!"

"Percy. If. You. Call. Me. That. One. More. Time. Shit. Is. Going. Down."

"She _told _you!" Frank suddenly said in a _terrible_, did I mention _terrible _Southern accent.

"She _definitely _told you!" Hazel added, in her own terrible Southern accent.

"Dafuq?" Percy asked, spinning around to take a better look at whom, in his whacked up mind, made those _beautiful _Southern accents, "AUTOGRAPH MY SHIRT PLEASE!" Percy squealed.

"My pleasure young man. How should I sign? I say, 'Dearest youngin, it has been my almighty pleasure to meet ya, and greet ya. With my own two eyes. Signed, Ma," Frank smiled, pleased with himself.

"NAW, FRANK! _I'M _A MAW! YOU'RE DA PAW!"

"Nu-uh. Listen here sweet thang! _I _am the QUEEN of this shit! I'm da maw and ya'll better listen to me! You're the paw! I boss ya around!"

"Aw! Ya a real somethin'! Fine, but next time I'm a maw!"

"Fine, fine, ya real old scoundrel! Go 'head. Be ol' maw next round," Frank sighed exasperatedly.

"WOW! I got _real _Southerners to sign my shirt! Annabethie, they're my idol! You know that!" **(AN: I apologize to anyone who was offended by Frank and Hazel's "Southerner" act. I know that's not really how it works, that was a stereotypical thing (I myself hate stereotypes), but it was for the purpose of this story! So I'm sorry if you were offended! I apologize.)**

"Percy…you know that was just Frank and Hazel being…uh…usually they're the normal ones, but, I guess everyone has their moments, but STUPID! IT WAS JUST FRANK AND HAZEL ACTING STUPID!"

"I-I-you guys lied to me! You aren't Southerners! THIS SHIRT IS WORTHLESS!" Percy suddenly ripped off his shirt and threw it to the ground. (Fangirls start drooling.)

"HEY!" Annabeth screamed, "HE'S MINE! GOT THAT YOU STUPID BIMBOS! **(AN: Sigh, I can't believe I'm doing this, I might be overreacting but I don't wanna offend any of you guys! SO, I know you guys aren't bimbos…most of you, I'm joking.) **M-I-N-E! KNOW WHAT _THAT _SPELLS? NO? WELL I WONDER WHY? BECAUSE YOU AREN'T CHILDREN OF FUCKING ATHENA! AND THAT DOESN'T MEAN MY SIBLINGS CAN HAVE HIM EITHER HE. IS. FUCK. ING. _MINE!_ BACK OFF!"

"Geez Annabeth, no one was staring…" Dakota said, desperately trying to calm her down.

Leo nodded, "Right guys?" he looked over at Gwen, Piper, and Reyna, all of whom quickly averted their gaze.

"Sorry what?" the three, said girls, asked.

"OH FOR GODS' SAKES! Not really making my job any easier!" Leo and Dakota gestured towards Annabeth, who was now fuming.

"What's happening?" Percy asked clueless again.

Annabeth sighed, "Percy…" Percy flinched expecting her to hit him, instead…

"AH! GUYS GET A ROOM!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"MY EYES!"

"I'M SCARRED!"

"HOLY GODS OF OLYMPUS!"

"MY INNOCENCE!"

"PSH, WHEN WERE _YOU _EVER INNOCENT LEO?"

"'T was a long, long time ago…"

"You bet your sorry little ass it was."

"GWEN! Meanie!"

"What? Just saying! You guys agree with me! He was _never _innocent."

"Yeah…I guess I'm with you on that one."

"Same, yep. Same."

"Wait a sec, what were we just screaming about?"

"Huh, that's weird. I don't remember…eh whatever, let's go get Percy and Annabeth."

"AH! GUYS GET A ROOM!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"AH MY EYES!"

"I'M SCARRED!"

"HOLY GODS OF OLYMPUS!"

"MY INNOCENCE!"

"PSH, WHEN WERE _YOU _EVER INNOCENT LEO?"

"'T was a long, long time ago…"

"You bet your sorry little ass it was."

"GWEN! Meanie!"

"What? Just saying-"

"GUYS! STOP!" Reyna demanded, in that weird I-am-praetor-so-you'll-do-whatever-I-want voice.

"Oh, ok," the other demigods agreed.

"AHEM!" the nine demigods turned around, only to find the fluffy, purple, hornless, unicorn looking at them with disdain.

"Hey! Mr. Snuffaluffagus!" Dakota shouted.

"I-I-WHAT? First a _horse_ now _this_? I'm not even a mammoth! I mean at least I'm close cousins with the horses, but a wooly mammoth, _seriously_?"

"Calm down, Barney. Calm it down."

"I-I'm NOT A PURPLE DINO!" "You're purple…" "BUT NOT A DINOSAUR!"

"Ok, ok, jeez Charlie!"

"Charlie? Who the fu-OH MY GOD-"

"Gods," Annabeth corrected.

"Gods-YOU'RE COMPARING ME WITH THAT WEIRDO?"

"Well, you're both unicorns, well Charlie lost his horn…and you're going to get yours back. Am I right?" Leo asked.

"I…you. And you _will _get my horn back or no more friends/best friends/boyfriends-"

"No boyfriend-" Reyna interjected.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, SMARTACUS ASSHOLE!"

"Jeez."

"JEEZ YOUR FACE! Now as I was saying, you're getting back my horn or no more friends/bestfriends/boy-" Reyna glared, "-Sorry, sorry. Touched nerve I guess, jeez. I'll forget about the boy-" Reyna glared again, "_That part_. Holy unicorn hair, like the stuff in Harry Potter's magic wands, you are a nasty little girl."

"EXCUSE ME!"

"Sorry. No we're getting off topic. As I was saying, get my horn back and I'll let you out of this gutter and give you your friends/best friends/-SWEET RAINBOW UNICORN HORNS I _DIDN'T_ SAY THE _THING_! JUST GET MY FUCKING HORN BACK!"

"Will do sir!" Leo mock saluted him, "Now wont you tell us your name?"

"You know my name…"

"We do?"

"Yeah…it's _Randy_."

"WHAT!" the half-bloods burst out laughing.

"Ever heard of such a ridiculous thing?"

"A unicorn named _Randy_! _RANDY_! _RANDY_! _RANDY_, of all the names!"

"My fuck! What a fucking retarded name for a fucking unicorn!"

"I know right! They're already stupid enough!"

"Yes, my gods! Totally!"

"SHUT UP! THAT'S MY NAME AND I'M PROUD OF IT! NOW FIND MY GODDAMN HORN!"

"Will do _RANDY!_" (**AN: Gods guys. Really sorry about this. BUT I IN NO WAY MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE NAMED RANDY!)**

"Fucking teenagers…"

"BY YOU FUCKING RETARDED ASSHOLE!" Gwen sang, skipping out with the other demigods.

**Aaaand….CUT! Thanks guys, again, have a great day/week/month/year/decade/century/millennium/whatever. Thanks! :D Stay tuned!**


	7. It's starting to make more sense (not)

IN WHICH THE STORY STARTS TO MAKE MORE SENSE (but not really) AND REYNA GETS A NEW FRIEND! Hi, soooooo sorry for the long, long, long, long, long wait. It's just…I had this huge thing and other things and…I'm sorry hope this makes up for it! Disclaimer: Me no own.

"So…where will we find this horn?" Leo began, looking around the relatively empty room, "I can't believe Randy just _made_ us go on his retarded quest.

"Well I don't know, we'll just have to split up and look around," Reyna suggested.

"I'M WITH ANNABETHIE!" Percy sang.

"Yeah, yeah. Someone has to make sure you don't kill yourself," Annabeth sighed, "We'll go this way." She indicated to a tunnel off to the right.

"Fine…Hazel and Frank go that way," Reyna pointed to the center of the room.

"Uh…Reyna…that's not gonna-"

"SHE FUCKING KNOWS! THEY AREN'T GOING TO HELP ANYWAYS SINCE ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS SLEEP!" Gwen yelled.

"Calm down," Dakota patted Gwen on the back.

"DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN YOU LITTLE-"

"Welcome to your future life," Leo whispered in Dakota's ear.

"Wha-what?!" Dakota, red faced, stammered causing Leo to smirk and stealthily move away.

"Ok, so Leo and Piper," Reyna continued.

"Just you and me," Leo suggestively raised his eyebrows.

"Ew! Gross!"

"You might say that, but that's not what you're thinking."

"LEO! STOP ACTING LIKE BOBBY!"

"Jeez, fine woman, don't kill me with makeup or something…"

Piper pulled out Katoptris, "Want to say that again Valdez?"

Leo gulped, "Your almighty highness I bow down to thee."

"ENOUGH FUCKING CHATTER GODSDAMMIT! WHY DON'T YOU TWO ASSHOLES GO TAKE THIS FUCKING LOVE FEST  
SOMEWHERE FUCKING ELSE WHERE WE DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING SEE IT!" Gwen exploded (again).

"Jeez, we're going…"

Reyna sighed, "Now Dakota…go with Gwen."

"WHAT! SHE'LL MURDER ME! KOOL AID WILL MISS ME! AND I'LL DIE!"

"No, it's final, you go with her."

"BUT, BUT WHO ARE YOU GONNA GO WITH? YOU CAN COME WITH US!" Dakota gave Reyna a pleading look.

"No."

"PLEASE! I'M BEGGING—AHHHHHAHHHHHH I'M GETTING PULLED AWAY BY THE DEMON!"

"Come with ME YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

Reyna shook her head, "Ah, love." With that she turned on her heel and exited the big room where Hazel and Frank were still sleeping.

**With Percy and Annabeth**

"Ooooo! Look at that Annabethie! Our names are above us!"

"No Percy, that's just a heading," Annabeth sighed.

"BUT IT'S SO PRETTY!"

"Percy…"

"I-I-I LOVE IT!"

"PERSEUS JACKSON!"

"Sworry…"

"Sworry?"

"Sorgy?"

"_Sorry_."

"Soyryr?"

"_Sar-ree_!"

"Sari?"

"_SORRY!"_

"Sorr-" Percy began.

"Yes! Now say 'ee'!" Annabeth was hopeful to say the least.

"adslygf;fsdklzjhgi;oywti4;pregfkdlj." Percy finished.

"What. The. Hades."

Percy clapped his hands together, "Yay! Let's go find SanJo and Baby!"

"I'm not even going to try and correct you…"

"BECAUSE I'M PERFECT?!"

"Actually because-"

"If you say no I'll cry…"

She sighed; he was impossible, "Because you're perfect."

"YAY!"

"PERCY! We _have to move_! We've been standing here for 30 minutes and we haven't even gotten more than 10 feet."

"I have feet…"

"PERCY!" Annabeth stomped her foot on the ground, "LET'S GO!" she then grabbed his arm and started walking.

"Oh, you have feet to…"

"PERCY!"

**With Hazel and Frank**

"_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…"_

_"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…SNRGGGGG…"_

**With Leo and Piper**

"So…" Leo miserably attempted to break the awkward silence between them.

"I'm not talking to you."

"But…but you just did…"

"Be quite."

"THERE! You did it again!"

Piper began to open her mouth, but then thinking better of it shut it again.

"Fine…don't talk to me…_beauty queen_."

Piper growled.

"Whoa! What was that! Do that again!"

Piper drew her dagger.

"Not _that_. Don't do _that_ again."

Piper slowly put her dagger away.

"Good girl! See we're learning!"

Piper slowly took her dagger out again.

"Ok! Ok! Forget I said anything!" Leo put his hands up in surrender.

Piper slowly put her dagger away again.

"Are you going to keep doing this?"

Piper slowly took her dagger out once again.

"Ok…"

Piper slowly put her dagger away again.

Leo took a deep breath; the kind you take before beginning a long rant, "Piper are you ok…I feel like I'm in a  
horror movie where the innocent victim thinks their friend is their friend, but then their "'friend' turns out to be  
evil or possessed and the other friend, aka me, is like wow what the fuck is going on, 'you're my friend, remember?'  
and then the friend have to fight crime, which I already sort of do since, you know, I'm a demigod, a hot one too,  
but you could tell, anyways, Piper are you ok, I feel like your about to kill me and then I have to run  
and I'm in a tight space, like a tunnel you know, and usually in horror movies 'the friend' has a dagger and-"

Piper suddenly drew her dagger and her eyes glazed over. She then swiped the dagger so fast at Leo  
he barely had time to dodge and his _beautiful_ face almost got turned into chopped beautiful face.

Piper suddenly started slicing wildly at Leo and chasing him down the narrow tunnel.

"Oh my gods! I've got to stop talking as much!"

**With Dakota and Gwen**

"Gwen…"

"DON'T FUCKING START WITH ME DAKOTA!"

"But Gwen don't you think…"

"DON'T TELL ME YOUR FUCKING THOUGHTS AGAIN 'CAUSE NO FUCKING ONE GIVES A SHIT!"

"But Gwen…"

"But Gwen," Gwen mocked.

"Gwen…"

"FUCK OFF!"

**"**_Gwen_, I haven't said _anything_ except 'But' and 'Gwen' for one whole _hour_."

"STOP FUCKING TALKING YOU LITTLE DOUCHE!"

"Gwen…"

"WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE! TWO FUCKING PEOPLE ACTUALLY! PRISSY JASON AND DEMEMENTED, FUCKING DERANGED BOBBY!"

"LET'SWORKONYOURCURSINGPROBLEM!IT'SAREALISSUE!" Dakota suddenly blurted out so fast that his words blended together.  
The son of Bacchus then cowered in fear.

"EXCUSEZ-MOI? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"

"I-I-I-I just think we should work out your cursing problem!" Dakota stammered.

"WELL FUCK YOU!"

"SEE! I TOLD YOU!"

"Oh, go to Pluto's realm-"  
"You didn't curse!"

"AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING LET ME FINISH!"

"Oh," Dakota said in a small voice, "SEE!" he screamed, "THIS PEOPLE IS WHY I NEED KOOL AID! I NEVER WOULD HAVE  
GOTTEN INTO THIS WITHOUT MY BABY!"

"Oh be quite you fat ass vampire."

"Whoa!" Dakota suddenly spun around to face Gwen, "I've put up with you for this long, but THAT CROSSED THE LINE!"

"Oh, I'm sorry mister fucking vampire, I couldn't see the fucking line with all you fucking fat!"

"Oh, you did not just go there girlfriend!" Dakota snapped his fingers in a Z.

"I think I just fucking did."

"OH HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL NAW!"

"Oh fucking hell yes."

"FUCK NO!"

Gwen suddenly smiled, "You _are_ learning, you little dipshit!"

"What? What the fuck am I learning?" Dakota slapped his hands over his mouth, "Where the fuck did that come from! Oh my gods! You infected me!"

Gwen just smiled, "My plan worked fucking perfectly, _now_ you curse like me!"

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FU-" Dakota slapped his hands over his mouth again, "MAKE IT FUCKING GO AWAY!"

"Sorry, no can fucking do! It'll work for awhile!"

"SO THERE IS A FUCKING BUG THING IN YOU! _That's _why you're so fucking weird!"

"Got that fucking right, you big ass motherfucker!"

"Oh, shit, nonononononononono…"

"Come on cursing buddy!"  
"Oh fuck."

**With Reyna**

"I wonder where those two idiots could be…" Reyna thought out loud.

She walked around a bit; this tunnel seems to be quite spacy.

"Maybe over here…"

Reyna walked over to some crates stacked on top of each other.

She continued moving the boxes until…

"Whoa…" moving the boxes had apparently revealed a crack in the wall, just small enough to fit your hand through,  
or in Reyna's case, her dagger.

"Let's see, if I get close enough…"

She inched closer to the crack.

"HIYA!" a high-pitched noise sounded.

"SWEET JUPITER'S UNDERGARMENTS!"

"HIYA!"

"WHERE ARE YOU? REVEAL YOURSELF! I'M ARMED!"

"HIYA!"

Reyna looked around and not seeing anything began to search the ground.

"HIYA!" this was to her left…

"HIYA!" her right…

"HIYA!" right in front of her…

"HIYA!" behind her?

"HIYAAAAAAAAA!" she felt something kick her in the butt.

"WHAT THE FU—calm, Reyna, think calm…"

Reyna then turned around to find a small…something perched on her backside.

"GET OFF!"

"HIYA!" the tiny creature exclaimed, jumping off of her.

"SHUT UP!"

"HIYA!"

"I AM THE PRAETOR OF NEW ROME AND I DEMAND YOU TO SHUT UP!"

"Ah, so you are she! I knew you'd crack soon," the creature smiled.

"Who-_what_ are you?"

"I'm a Frigolopean recternaldasdkljadfd."

"A what?"

The Frig-something-or-other sighed, "I get that a lot, I'm a FRIG-O-LO-PEE-AN REK-TUR-NALD-ASDKLJADFD."

"Sorry...I don't think I…"

"And they told me you were intelligent…"

"I-I _am_ intelligent!"

"Don't seem that way to me."

"WELL AT LEAST YOU COULD EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU ARE!"  
"Yeah, yeah, well seeing as you're a real simpleton-"

Reyna glared.

"-you can just call me Frigi, that's FRIG-EE!"

"I KNOW!"

"Well I'm a yuadakldjsafjsldjfdjfkadk."

"…"

"What? Don't look at me like that!"

"…"

"STOP IT! I GUESS YOU CAN'T PRONOUNCE THAT EITHER!"

"…"

"Fine, I'm a rare species of hippopotamuses."

"WHAT?!" Reyna burst out laughing.

"You heard me, I'm rare."

"Damn right you are."

"Oh be quite! I'm going to help you!"

"YOU?!"

"Yes me! Now be quite and let me tell you a story!"

**And one more time back with Dakota and Gwen **

"OH I FUCKING CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FUCKING WEIRDO'S STORY!"

"Gwen…what are you talking about? Who's story?"

"FUCKING FRIGI—wait what the fuck am I talking about?"

**So, which group's your favorite? And again, apologies for not updating in a long time, but I'll reward you with a sneak peek of the next chapter, Frigi's story! ****_"Fuck yeah I am, but I can't tell you much…I'm actually from a…."But I thought Jason and Bobby were…" _****(sorry can't give away to much! Till next time! (and hopefully not as long a wait))**


End file.
